July Is The Cruelest Month

I've just come through what has been the darkest July I've ever had. (I'm sure there may have been darker times in my life, but this is the most recent, most painful one so let's leave it at that.) There wasn't any one thing that I can put my finger on and say, "This is it, that's what's causing all of this crap!"  No, just a general feeling of sadness, and failure, and even loss of faith in the path I'm on. Good god. Or maybe not good god. Art sales have been slow, and I haven't had any 'mailbox money' in a while. I'm not destitute yet, but have been feeling like something must change, and soon.  Last night I was even searching want ads to see if any jobs were out there for this 58 year old broke down woman contractor/artist without a college degree. Wah-- Poor me....right? Well, this morning I woke up and took a little ride on my bicycle and thought some things through. (it was a beautiful ride) I'm closer to having a plan of positive action now. I'm sure I'll keep all and any of you folks who read this blog posted, because I'm a sharing kind of gal. The last few months I had pretty much given up and had been feeling discouraged about my path. This is interesting because during that time I've also finished up the Cat Scratchin' book and sent it off to the designer, and had a successful little poster project fund on kickstarter. Go figure. None of that seemed to matter when I was feeling lowest. That's how it works I guess, the spiral down into that dimly lit cellar of hopelessness. Don't worry, I'm on my way back up now. I guess I had to fall down and get scuffed up a bit so I would figure out a different way to achieve the things I wish to do. Ultimately what I realized was that I could get a regular 'day job' (or two or three) and hate every minute of it, or do what it is I feel I'm meant to do and just love doing it, most of the time. I'm choosing love. It's going to be a little more work, but I'm pretty sure it's worth it. And I've been doing it for the past twelve years so why give up now?
The above photo is a fabulous mixed media sculpture (reflective traffic/construction materials etc...) hanging on the wall at the Hive restaurant at the 21C Museum Hotel in Bentonville, Arkansas. I went there last week and had lunch with a good friend and then we went on to Crystal Bridges to see the Angels and Tomboys exhibit. The food was good. The exhibit was ok, I wish there would've been more Tomboys, but that's just me. I thought it was kind of a weak show. (Great classical paintings, but give me 20th and 21st Century art any day of the week and I'm happy.)
Ok, here's my message for today; Don't give up...just don't.

Not Slacking Off...Busy Making A Book

I just sent most of the files for the new Cat Scratchin' book off to the designer yesterday. Just have a few more tweaks to do, like writing the intro/acknowledgements, back blurb, and cat rescue directory. I wish I had a pretty picture to put up for you today, I'll do a little search and see if I can't rustle up one. Lately the only art I've been making is the cats, or misc folk art birds, dogs and cats. I'm trying to use everything up in the next 6 mos. or so. I still have my plan to be mobile, either in a drive around RV or pull-behind trailer. Stay tuned for that. It's my 'retirement plan', since I really don't have any other ideas or options. I own a home with partners and hope to be putting that on the market in 6 months. I'm restless as hell.
I've been thinking a lot lately about money, jobs, the rest of my life etc...I'm about to drop my health insurance in hopes of getting a better (cheaper) plan when they open up the exchange in October. I have been self-employed for over 20 years, and have always had insurance. The only time I didn't have any was my early years at art school when I was dirt poor, going full-time and working at a burger joint and any other job I could find. So I'm more than a little nervous. Although, if I hadn't had insurance when I had the whole thyroid cancer thing I think it might not have been as much money out of pocket for me. How does that make sense??? It doesn't. Anyhow, instead of spending $300.00 a month for crappy insurance I'll just pay for my prescriptions and hope for the best.  Blah, blah, blah, blah blah. I've been happier, and I will be again.
Here's a photo of "The Lucy's", two chickens I had in my urban backyard in Austin. Next book--Chickens! They were fun. Eggs everyday.

Upcycle-ReUsed Vintage Lumber Folk Art Dogs And Cats

I've been in the process of tearing through a heap of vintage lumber that I moved three times in the last three years. The big pieces are becoming table tops and rolling work stations. I'm left with small scraps and I just hate throwing good wood away. Here you go--I'm in the process of building little dog and cat folk art gee-gaw statues. These are in the rough right now. I will throw some paint on them and embellish the eyes and such. Stay tuned, I'll put finished images up here. I work on these in my kitchen (on the counter) while watching episodes of whatever I can find on Nextflix and Hulu and Amazon. My favorite thing to do is to find a series so I can "binge-watch" while working on art or craft--go figure, it works for me.
I'm still working on the Cat Scratchin' book you can click here to jump over to that blog. I'm on schedule and happy.
I also have a small kickstarter project going to create posters from the Dog Scratchin' book. You can click here to see that.  I used some super cheap poster frames from the big box hobby store to show them off. Here's an image below to give you an idea of what they look like.

It's hot as hell, my ac is working overtime, my electric bill just came and it's almost double what it was last month. I'm remembering when I lived up on the mountain three years ago with no ac and only two windows that opened, during the summer! It was a good day when it was only 80 degrees in the house. How did I survive that??
Hey, have a day!